It seems like regretting is out of style these days. I personally am not afraid of admitting there’s certain things I regret. In fact, theres many things I regret. Some of doing, some of not doing. This doesn’t make me a better or worse person than anyone else. Actually, it makes me ME. But I feel like regretting comes from having matured and realizing how I could be doing better had I done or not done that one thing. So maybe another way of saying “I regret” is “I wish I had known” because I would’ve done things differently.
Im not ashamed of openly talking about this, as I mentioned before, because I feel like glittering my life on this website is a waste of time, both mine and yours. I learned the hard way so many times, and maybe someone else can save themselves some time and effort by learning from my mistakes. I know thats a cliche thing to say, but I find that at some point I have indeed learnt from other people’s mistakes. Also, I think glittering life is a very dangerous thing to do, especially in this day and era. Mental health issues are becoming more and more common and I blame all of us. We never know who our words and pictures are reaching, and sending a message of only good things and a picture perfect life can make a huge impact (for the worse) on the wrong hands. I think there’s a lot of sugar coating around the internet especially on social media platforms and people seem to believe Instagram is life. Breaking news, everyone! It’s not. We all tend to feel like sharing whenever we are having a great time, or feeling confident, or looking like a million bucks. But life is not always like that, not for me not for you not for even the Queen of England! We all wake up with bad breath, messy hair and bare skin. We all have had pimples once in a while (if you haven’t yet.. just you wait ha!), we all had hair where we don’t want it and we all have had a wardrobe malfunction at least once in our lifetime (trust me, I’ve heard some funny stories on this topic!).
You get my point, I’m not about sugarcoating life. I understand that the decisions I’ve made thus far have shaped me into the person I am today, but I still think there’s things that I could’ve done to be a better person today. This doesn’t mean that there’s nothing I can’t do to “fix” certain aspects of myself, but it’s just a reflection on how I got to where I am today, even with the bad and ugly.
#1 regret: Making money a priority. I wish I would’ve not put money first when I was a teenager. When I got out of high school and I had to decide what I was going to study in college my first thought was I’d like to live with all of the luxuries I didn’t have growing up. So.. I decided on a course of studies that -I thought- would make for a well paid profession. HA! So naive. I’ll go straight to the point and say today I’d rather be happy than rich. I guess I learnt it the hard way.
#2 regret: Speaking way too much way too soon. I’m guilty of doing this not once or twice but more times that I can count. Later in life I realized not everyone has the best intentions or the ability of simply being happy for the other person, so the fact that I shared many projects and plans of mine before they were a set in stone thing was a huge mistake. I think I also didn’t realize this was a thing until not long ago so I did it several times. Recently I’ve become a more quiet person about my projects (at least on their early stages) and only share them when they’re for sure happening or when I feel the person who’s listening is capable of feeling happy for me and not wanting to stop me or seeing the negative of whatever I’m sharing.
#3 regret: Not standing up for what I wanted. I’m not like this anymore. At all. I feel like this is the aspect of my life in which I’ve worked the most over the past five years. I’m not one to be influenced or coerced. But when I was younger, I had someone in my life that made me remain silent on occasions. I don’t think this person meant to have this effect on me, or realized this was happening. Logically, this led to me doing things I didn’t want to just because I wasn’t strong or mature enough to stand up for myself. This is one of the darkest times of my life and I’m so glad I’ve left it behind. I just recently was able to open up to some of my friends about it and it feel very weird, I was nervous I was gonna be judged but I decided to speak up as a way of healing as well. I don’t care if I was judge or not after all, it felt like a huge relief and I can now move on.
I know this is a very personal topic, so if you feel like you need someone to talk to about this, feel free to email me or leave me a comment or reach out to me on any of my social media. I know having someone you can trust is not easy. Know that I’m here and I’m happy to be an ear to anyone who might need one! If you don’t feel like sharing it, or want to share with someone you personally know. that’s ok too. Give it a thought within yourself and use this opportunity to heal any scars you may have from the past. Any time you give to yourself is never too much, as this is the only way you will grow and be able to move on to bigger and better things!