THINGS I REGRET

It seems like regretting is out of style these days. I personally am not afraid of admitting there’s certain things I regret. In fact, theres many things I regret. Some of doing, some of not doing. This doesn’t make me a better or worse person than anyone else. Actually, it makes me ME. But I feel like regretting comes from having matured and realizing how I could be doing better had I done or not done that one thing. So maybe another way of saying “I regret” is “I wish I had known” because I would’ve done things differently.

Im not ashamed of openly talking about this, as I mentioned before, because I feel like glittering my life on this website is a waste of time, both mine and yours. I learned the hard way so many times, and maybe someone else can save themselves some time and effort by learning from my mistakes. I know thats a cliche thing to say, but I find that at some point I have indeed learnt from other people’s mistakes. Also, I think glittering life is a very dangerous thing to do, especially in this day and era. Mental health issues are becoming more and more common and I blame all of us. We never know who our words and pictures are reaching, and sending a message of only good things and a picture perfect life can make a huge impact (for the worse) on the wrong hands. I think there’s a lot of sugar coating around the internet especially on social media platforms and people seem to believe Instagram is life. Breaking news, everyone! It’s not. We all tend to feel like sharing whenever we are having a great time, or feeling confident, or looking like a million bucks. But life is not always like that, not for me not for you not for even the Queen of England! We all wake up with bad breath, messy hair and bare skin. We all have had pimples once in a while (if you haven’t yet.. just you wait ha!), we all had hair where we don’t want it and we all have had a wardrobe malfunction at least once in our lifetime (trust me, I’ve heard some funny stories on this topic!).

You get my point, I’m not about sugarcoating life. I understand that the decisions I’ve made thus far have shaped me into the person I am today, but I still think there’s things that I could’ve done to be a better person today. This doesn’t mean that there’s nothing I can’t do to “fix” certain aspects of myself, but it’s just a reflection on how I got to where I am today, even with the bad and ugly.

#1 regret: Making money a priority. I wish I would’ve not put money first when I was a teenager. When I got out of high school and I had to decide what I was going to study in college my first thought was I’d like to live with all of the luxuries I didn’t have growing up. So.. I decided on a course of studies that -I thought- would make for a well paid profession. HA! So naive. I’ll go straight to the point and say today I’d rather be happy than rich. I guess I learnt it the hard way.

#2 regret: Speaking way too much way too soon. I’m guilty of doing this not once or twice but more times that I can count. Later in life I realized not everyone has the best intentions or the ability of simply being happy for the other person, so the fact that I shared many projects and plans of mine before they were a set in stone thing was a huge mistake. I think I also didn’t realize this was a thing until not long ago so I did it several times. Recently I’ve become a more quiet person about my projects (at least on their early stages) and only share them when they’re for sure happening or when I feel the person who’s listening is capable of feeling happy for me and not wanting to stop me or seeing the negative of whatever I’m sharing.

#3 regret: Not standing up for what I wanted. I’m not like this anymore. At all. I feel like this is the aspect of my life in which I’ve worked the most over the past five years. I’m not one to be influenced or coerced. But when I was younger, I had someone in my life that made me remain silent on occasions. I don’t think this person meant to have this effect on me, or realized this was happening. Logically, this led to me doing things I didn’t want to just because I wasn’t strong or mature enough to stand up for myself. This is one of the darkest times of my life and I’m so glad I’ve left it behind. I just recently was able to open up to some of my friends about it and it feel very weird, I was nervous I was gonna be judged but I decided to speak up as a way of healing as well. I don’t care if I was judge or not after all, it felt like a huge relief and I can now move on.

I know this is a very personal topic, so if you feel like you need someone to talk to about this, feel free to email me or leave me a comment or reach out to me on any of my social media. I know having someone you can trust is not easy. Know that I’m here and I’m happy to be an ear to anyone who might need one! If you don’t feel like sharing it, or want to share with someone you personally know. that’s ok too. Give it a thought within yourself and use this opportunity to heal any scars you may have from the past. Any time you give to yourself is never too much, as this is the only way you will grow and be able to move on to bigger and better things!

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WHAT

So you’re probably wondering what the name of the blog means. Well, I think I should introduce you to an old Argentinian popular drink. It’s an infusion that if you’ve ever been to Latin America you most likely have come across. It’s called mate.

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This hot beverage is very common in Argentina, Uruguay, Brasil and Paraguay. I can’t talk with certainty about it in these other countries but I can talk about mate in my home country. In Argentina, mate means getting together, hanging out with friends or family, and sometimes even just having it by yourself. Usually when friends gather around on the beach, at the park or maybe even in someonelse’s house, you will see them sharing mate – yes! from the same straw. In my opinion, because of it’s nature (you don’t just pour it once like tea or coffee but you are constantly pouring small amounts of water onto the yerba mate as you drink it), drinking mate incites a moment for relaxing or getting stuff done but without any stress.

That is only my opinion, and it may be that mate doesn’t mean anything more than a drink for others, or that it means something completely different than mine.

Well, thats for the mate part of it.. but what’s the five o’clock thing? you may be wondering.. It obviously stands for English five o’clock tea. I love English culture and history. It actually is my long time goal to live there and I’m staying positive that sooner rather than later I’ll accomplish it.

But if you’re an English speaker reading this, maybe your first impression of mate could’ve been mate as in “What’s up mate?” mate as a synonym for buddy. And that is not  entirely wrong! Yes, my first intention when I wrote the title for this blog was mixing up both my favorite cultures. But also, I like the idea of this blog as a moment of communication between me and you reading this. So we could be five o’clock mates. What do you say? I hope you enjoy following me on this platform and getting to know me a bit more. Leave me your comment down below so I can also get to know you. Have you ever tried mate? What do you think of it?

WHY

HELLO INTERNET! Clara here. So, even though this is most likely only going to be read by myself and my sister (hola!) I wanted to address why I’m starting this project and what are my intentions with it. Maybe paint a picture of what my life looks like at the moment, or at least from my perspective.

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I’m 23 years old. Still no college degree. I tried though. Started two different course of studies. Went au pairing in the US during the gap year I took after I dropped out of college the first time. Best experience of my life. Which brings us here. A couple, more so several, months after returning “home” and as you can tell, I have no clue what’s home anymore. And that is just one of my feelings. I miss everything I enjoyed in the US. I miss everyone I met as well. My friends are spread all over the world now, and my family is in two different countries.

So, yes. My mind is a mess and so is my heart. I’m not sure what I’m doing here anymore. All I know is where I wanna be. And you can probably imagine what my goal is by the name of this blog (which I’ll explain more about next time). That’s right. England.

For some reason, every since I can remember I’ve had this some may call weird obsession with that country. I’ve studied and investigated for hours by myself about its people, History, culture, food. I’ve googled it way more times than I can even remember and I’d do it a million more. There’s tons of topics I still want to know more about. But more specifically, I can’t wait to visit. I feel like I wouldn’t have enough time if I were to go on vacation to feel like I’ve had enough of it. Also, I feel like I NEED to live there. For real. It’s as if after my year in the US this light turned on in me that had always been there but I hadn’t turned on before because I was too scared. It’s this realization that I do extremely well on my own (even when I miss my people and my dear Argentinian food) and that breathing, thinking, and dreaming in English makes me feel complete.

For now this is pretty good. As you can tell, it’s an extremely brief summary of what brought me here, or at least what’s relevant to this matter, as well as some bits and pieces of what’s going through my mind. And that’s what I plan to share in this blog in a nutshell; at least for now. Why? I feel like big changes and important decisions can come as a result from all these ideas I have in my mind right now, and the idea of being able to go back and read this ten or twenty years from now sounds appealing to me. Also… why not?